From an early age, I have been terrified of heights. This is a fear I have managed well by working hard to keep myself from uncomfortable situations. When, on occasion, this has been unavoidable, I have held my own, but sometimes barely. At times, experimenting with boundaries in controlled situations but never overcoming my fear fully.
Almost twenty years ago, my younger brother and his beautiful bride got married in a destination wedding, in Las Vegas. This was my first visit to Vegas and quite an experience with a group of nearly fifty other family members and friends. While there, a large part of the group decided to visit the New York Hotel and Casino to experience the Big Apple Coaster. As I saw it at the moment, I had two choices, I could give into my fear and miss being part of a memorable experience with my family or I could choose to take a risk and take the plunge.
It was probably very helpful that I had never seen a picture and had no idea of how many loops were featured in the rollercoaster (pictured below). It was not easy and I remember having a long conversation with myself about how this could be a great opportunity for me to choose to “walk into my fear”. In the end, I did go on the rollercoaster. It was absolutely terrifying and I have never held on to a seat so tight or screamed as loud. However, it was also an exciting and happy experience that gave me a precious memory with my family that we still talk about. This is also one of the key experiences I go to when facing fear because every time we overcome one fear, we strengthen the muscles needed to overcome new obstacles.
This story is my invitation to intentionally choose to step into fear, at whatever level you can today, so you can be braver tomorrow.
Photo Credit: Joe Schwartz, Las Vegas Holiday
Living Braver Made Easy
Since my experience in Las Vegas, whenever I face a fear, I often ask myself what my life would be like if I had more courage. Can you think of a moment when you had that same thought? Imagine stepping into the fear and taking risks to go after the things that are important to you.
There are two major schools of thought about courage. You might act boldly because you are fearless. On the other hand, you might feel anxious, but forge ahead anyway because you decide that the rewards are worth it.
Either way, courage is a skill that you can cultivate. Use this 3-step plan to conquer your doubts and face the things that scare you.
Build up Your Faith
Value yourself. Know that you’re worthwhile. Bravery comes down to making yourself vulnerable because the rewards justify taking the risk. Ask yourself how far you’ll go to live out your dreams.
Call on your strengths. Believe in your abilities. Reflect on your past accomplishments and understand your potential.
Connect with the divine. Reach out to something bigger than yourself. Set aside time each day for prayer, meditation or reflection. Discover what your lived experiences teach you about the nature of courage.
Team up With Others
Look for partners. We’re more powerful when we act together. Surround yourself with colleagues, friends and allies who share your aspirations. Put together a team that complements each other’s abilities. Be a collaborative leader who engages others and encourages innovation.
Select inspiring role models. It’s good to have heroes. Find a mentor who has the qualities you want to possess. It may be your college professor, someone at work or a character in your favorite novel.
Share moral support. Sometimes the most valuable things we give each other are intangible. Empathize with your friend when they are struggling to start dating again after a divorce. Be thankful when they validate you the next time you’re steeling yourself for a sensitive conversation with your teenage child or your supervisor.
Practice Your Skills
Distinguish between feelings and actions. We usually need to act if we want our fears to dissolve. Showing yourself that you can succeed even when you feel anxious teaches you to tackle challenges. The good news is that it becomes easier each time.
Take small steps. Start out with something modest. Schedule that dental checkup you’ve been putting off.
Master your timing. Designing wisely means recognizing the opportune moment. Determine when you have the resources to move ahead. Your small business is more likely to thrive if you write out your business plan and line up investors.
Manage stress. Staying fit prepares you to be more adventurous. Protect your body from the consequences of chronic stress so you have greater energy and strength.
Think positive. Resolve to be optimistic. Stay hopeful by focusing on what you have to gain. Picture your boss being impressed by your proposal to save money on daily essential business components.
Hang in there. Have the courage to persevere when success fails to come instantly. Difficult tasks may require sustained time and effort.
Be sensible. At the same time, you want to pick your battles. Being courageous is different from being reckless. Look out for your safety and the wellbeing of those around you. Plan ahead so you’ll be ready to deal with the outcomes of your decisions. Celebrate your victories and learn from your mishaps.
During these challenging times, it is critical we cultivate the courage to push beyond our comfort zones. It’s okay to feel a little afraid as long as you keep working towards your goals. Being brave empowers you to enjoy a richer life and accomplish more.