I strive to take intentional steps every day to help me in my journey to become my best self and over the last two years, I have been on quite a journey.
When I turned 50 years old in 2021, I published a blog post about Living Consciously and Creating Time to Do What You Love. Today, as I mark my 52nd birthday, I am reflecting on how I continue to evolve into my best self and into living my best life, particularly when it comes to my physical and emotional health. This had to be a strategic decision and required me to face long standing fears and to choose to let go of many traumatic experiences that had negatively impacted my ability to fully care for myself.
One of the things I know for sure is that I am determined and strong and that I have overcome great odds to create a happy and successful life. However, at the beginning of the pandemic, I was struggling with obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure, and despite feeling that I was living a happy and meaningful life, I had to be courageous enough to face the fact that my body was at a breaking point.
I understood that I needed to make some serious changes but prioritizing myself has been the one thing that I have not been able to do consistently during the last thirty years and I just did not know where to start. This truly terrified me! In fact, the decision to transition from the financial stability of my position as a vice president was much easier to make than accepting the reality of how much work I needed to do to improve my mental and physical health.
My Journey
At the beginning of the pandemic, as my father battled lung cancer, I was finally able to decide – I was ready to live my best life. I was willing to do the work that this required.
My first step was to work with two coaches who helped me to design my work transition and how to make my dream of creating my own business a reality without using my work as a hideaway.
I also committed to working with a therapist who helped me to face my fears and past traumas and to reconnect with my internal sense of optimism and confidence about the future and my ability to risk it all. To do this, I had to rediscover my sense of faith and trust myself in ways I had not done before.
During those many months working from home and living with my parents for the first time since my teenage years, I started to work hard to improve my physical health by walking at least two miles everyday. Over time, I worked to refine my strategy and plan. In the fall of 2021, after much consultation with my doctor, I decided that I needed to create a tighter structure to give my health journey a boost and create a framework that would help me to sustain better health. After many months of discussion with my doctor, I decided to undergo weight loss surgery. I was very fearful of the medical procedure but came to believe that this could be a good option to create my pathway to success. So I began a long emotional, psychological and physical journey and had a successful surgery in November 2021.
Success Today: A New Pathway for the Future
There is so much unexpected joy and strength that has come out from engaging in an intentional transformation process. You may think that having the surgery was the actual answer but in reality, it was only the beginning. The surgery was a real symbol of my new commitment to myself and my health. It was my promise that I would continue to do the work long after losing the weight.
The post surgery was not easy and involved teaching my brain new language, developing new habits and behaviors, and practicing vulnerable accountability, like sharing my journey with you. It has meant hard work like stepping into a gym for the first time ever in February 2022 and continuing to go as often as I can.
And now, I can proudly say that my strategic approach and working hard every day has given birth to many positive results. My life has completely changed, in every way, and most importantly, I was an intentional catalyst for the change. I no longer suffer from diabetes or high blood pressure and have not taken any medication since the day before my surgery, over one year ago. I am well on my way, and as I was reminded by my trainer a few days ago, I am “never going back”.
I know that I will in fact never go back because I am no longer the same person who started this journey in 2020. Along the way, I rediscovered many facets of myself and have been reminded of my courage and ability to create the life and experiences I dream of. I have learned how to give to myself that which I freely give to others. I have learned not to feel guilty for prioritizing myself in a healthy and intentional way. I have finally seen how much of a difference I can make when I don’t leave myself behind. I am forever becoming the best version of myself day by day, and sometimes, hour by hour, but I will always keep working on this.
Becoming Your Best Self
Becoming your best self is about having the courage to seek new opportunities, experimenting with new ways of being and committing to something of high purpose and value to you. It is about remaining open along the way to what you might learn about yourself in the process. It is not about reaching your goal fast and furiously but rather about taking the time necessary to design a strategic and intentional approach to your goals and taking small steps along the way to get you there.
Everyone (myself included) wants to be the best version of themself. But wanting to, and actually doing it are two very different things. I’m not always the best version of myself (by far), but I know my true potential and that awareness motivates me to work towards more in the future.
Make a Plan
Being the best version of you can mean different things to different people. Some are happy with the bare necessities. For others, they want something more. No matter what category you fall into, you can use these tips to become the best version of yourself. Below are nine powerful tips and three actionable steps you can take immediately.
Know And Understand Your Purpose
Instead of wandering through life aimlessly, ask yourself questions to determine your true purpose. For example, do you want to be the best employee? Or do you want to be a triathlete? Writing down your purpose gives you a reference to keep you on track.
Visualize Your Future Self
Once you know your purpose, visualize how a life like that would look. If you want to be the best parent, think about what that looks like to you. If you want to climb the corporate ladder, envision the version of yourself doing that. If you want to improve your health imagine yourself working out, taking a walk, eating a healthy meal or meditating. Think of visualizing as structured daydreaming.
Let Go of Fear
Once you accept that you will fail along the way to your dreams and goals, you open your mind to all sorts of possibilities. Consider failures as learning opportunities to help you become the best version of yourself. Use your fear to motivate you to push onward toward success.
Put a Stop to Negative Talk
The moment you commit to becoming a better you, your mind finds ways to talk you out of it. You will need to work on techniques and habits to reign in those thoughts that will hold you back. It's time to silence the inner critic.
Show Up and Do the Work
You need to take action. Putting effort into visualizing goals does nothing for you if you fail to put forth the effort. Many can talk the talk, but few can walk the walk. Set specific and measurable goals and be one of the few that put their words into action by taking the first step.
Let Go of Others’ Expectations for You
Becoming the best version of yourself is personal. Only you determine what that looks like and how to get there.
Develop Empowering Habits
Habits can make or break your progress. Think about who you want to be and build the habits to get you there. Start with something small, but eventually, you will want to include more meaningful behavior that can lead to long-lasting and impactful change. For example, prioritizing family time over work, setting time aside to exercise regularly or saving money to buy your first home.
Give Yourself a Break
Making changes to enhance your life will come with some setbacks. That's okay. When those moments appear, give yourself loads of self-love, reflect, and get back in the game.
Give Back to Others
Volunteering your time, knowledge, and skills helps others and reveals your best self—no matter where you are on your journey. Make volunteering a priority. You will feel fulfilled and grateful.
Fast-Action Steps
Write down what your purpose is by asking yourself what you value. It may help to answer questions like: What activities do you enjoy? What impact do you want to make?
Establish the next steps. Once you understand your purpose, what do you need to do next? And after that? As you take the next step, you will build momentum.
Choose one habit you can implement now that will push you to become the best version of yourself. Practice it for a couple of weeks, and then add a new habit.
Becoming your best self requires that you examine all areas of your life, set intentional goals and focus on how you can achieve them. Nurturing a healthy mindset and overall sense of confidence and optimism are also essential for managing challenges along the way. Look for ways to tap into your sense of authenticity, be courageous and step into your own power. Choose to live by design!
Further Reading